Who doesn't believe in God? Certainly not me. Have you ever wonder about something? Or feeling miserable about something (why is life so difficult? why me??) Or just looking for some answers (give me answers, NOW!) and then boom you feel like God answers you.

Not necessarily in the ways God talks to our prophets (doh!), but through every day's things. From something you read in the newspaper/magazine, from an ad on a billboard, from Friday's preach or maybe from Oprah? Suddenly you'll just see the co relevance and knew that it's your answer.

When I was in the hospital, worried and scared, I asked for God to give me strength to stay positive. And I turned on the tv, found Oprah and they were talking about The Secret. From then on, I found my strength. InsyaAllah, I'll always have it.

So folks, God listens, all we need to do is to believe. :)

I have always thought of breastfeeding as an obligation of a mother to her child. Which kinda go along with what most breastfeeding campaign slogan, "to be breastfed is every child's right" aka mother's obligation rite? See I don't have abundant milk supply, so to do my "obligation" I have to do some extra work to keep up with my baby's demand, i.e pump 5 times a day, including two in the night (when my baby is sleeping of course). Day after day, I did what I thought is my obligation. I couldn't be any more wrong.

Breastfeeding is a privilege to all mothers, a luxury in fact. I didn't realize it until I couldn't do it. My recent condition requires me to take medication for quite a long period, and it is possible that the medicines can be passed to the baby via breast milk. So it is best to stop breastfeeding. Those first days of weaning were heartbreaking. Some people tried to console me by pointing out that my baby's big enough and she has already got her 6 months asi exclusive period. The truth is, that is not the only issue, I find that the process of breastfeeding is a special mother - daughter moment. My very own special way to show my love and to comfort her. The one thing that I know will always calm her whenever she cries. As a working mom, I have the insecurity issue of worrying that my baby will prefer her sitter than me. With breastfeeding, I feel that I have that special thing that my baby can only get from me. And I feel robbed of that privilege.

It's been almost a month now, and thankfully my dear Tara still knows which one is her bunda. And I am proud to say that I think I'm still the one she likes best :)

Moral of the story here is, do try to breastfeed if you can. For fathers to be, do encourage your partner to breastfeed, trust me your life will be soooo much easier that way. (Ask my hubby who is now obliged to get up 3 times every night to make formula :-p love you for that dear)

Tahun ini tahun pertama kita berlebaran sama Tara (yay!). Pagi-pagi pas lebaran itu hujan, suasananya enak banget.. Gak solat Ied karena Tara masih terlalu kecil untuk diajak ikutan. Terus ya seperti biasa, sungkeman dan makan2 ketupat plus kue2. Babysitter dan pembantu di rumah kompakan pulangnya dari hari Rabu. Jadilah cuti panjang pertama kalinya pas lebaran (biasanya milih mending ngantor daripada harus di rumah ngerjain kerjain RT hihihi). Cape juga, yang paling berasa itu adalah nyetrika dan cuci2 dishes, panci, perangkat masak, dll plus ngerebus2nya untuk sterilin. Tara itu sama sekali ga mau ditinggal Bundanya (bener2 ga mau lho... kalo gue beranjak sedikitt aja dari dia, dia langsung cari2, bahkan kalo gue mandi juga dia harus ada di dalem kamar mandi), jadi baru bisa ngerjain setelah dia bobo, dan biasanya hubby juga dah bobo (huhuhu.. upik abu malam2 menyetrika dan mencuci :-p ). Yang parahnya lagi tuh adalah nyamuk! Ntah kenapa selama bulan puasa itu nyamuk buanyaaaakkkk banget, badan dah bentol2 pleus baret2 akibat terlalu semangat garuk2. (Bisa2 disangka kdrt ini, badan penuh luka). Akhirnya setelah 3 hari-an daku menyerah dan pake-in disposable diapers ke Tara seharian :D Maap ya nak.

Ohya, gara2 kecapean gue jadi pilek, dan kayanya Tara juga udah mulai ketularan.
Pas Lebaran ketiga, kita berangkat ke Jogja untuk nyekar plus liburan. Tara yang udah kecapean nunggu pesawat malah langsung bobo begitu duduk di pesawat dan di mimi-in. Padahal kan harusnya dia terus mimi pas pesawat take off. Tapi baru 5 menit dia dah bobo pules dan ga bangun walau udah di towel2. Ya udah deh, berdoa aja gak sakit kupingnya dia, mana rada pilek pula. Tengah2 perjalanan dia bangun dan ketawa-ketiwi aja duduk, pas landing dicoba mimi, eh gak mau. Yaudah lagi2 berdoa aja.

Sampe Jogja, check-in, wah hotelnya menyenangkan juga tempatnya. This time kita nginepnya di Hyatt. Lokasinya sih rada di luar kotanya gitu, tamannya luas nyambung sama padang golfnya dan viewnya bagus. Kolam renangnya juga kayanya seru banget, free form dan geda gitu. Tara sih kayanya paling seneng sama kasurnya, soalnya begitu ditaro di kasur langsung semangat banget gitu dia, lompat2 plus manjat2in bundanya. Sore-an jalan ke Paremono untuk nyekar. Dinner cukup room service aja karena si beibi dah tepar.

Sebetulnya sebelum berangkat kita dah punya list tempat2 makan yang wajib dikunjungi di Jogja (acuannya milis JS). Udah ada 9 tempat makan di list (hehehe emang mo tiap jam makan ya??). Ada iga bakar bali, seafood mang engking, omah dhuwur, bale raos, bale bengong terus tongseng apa... gitu pokoknya banyak deh. Tapi karena kita nyewa mobil tanpa supir akhirnya ga nemu deh tempat2 ini (biarpun suamikuw udah bela2in beli peta jogja). Yang kesampean akhirnya cuma iga bakar bali. Ini tempatnya deket sama hotel. Dan sayangnya tidak memenuhi ekspektasi. Iganya ukurannya ya sama-lah sama Karebosi/Daeng Tata. Bumbunya juga so-so. Warungnya itu persis di pinggir sawah. Sore-sore gue sempet mampir ke Omah Ndeso (Pecel Solo), makan pecel karena ga puas sama si iga. Tapi pecelnya juga kurang mak-nyus. Malah lebih enak pecel di rumah hehehe. Malemnya dinner di Sasanti. Lokasinya persis sebelah hotel. Nah ini baru bagus. Tempatnya bagus dan makanannya lumayan enak plus murah untuk ukuran resto & gallery model gitu. Kita pesen bebek bacem dan rawon, gue sih rada kurang menikmati rawonnya soalnya Tara dah bobo. Jadi agak ribet juga makan rawon plus gendong beibi. Takut dianya ketetesan rawon :D

Hari terakhir di Jogja sempet agak heboh, soalnya Tara kaya mau muntah2 gitu. Kita takutnya ada yang nyangkut di tenggorokan. Langsung merasa bersalah deh ngasih dia secuil2 roti pas kita breakfast. Ternyata kata dokter (iya.. kita panggil dokter ke hotel :-p ) ga ada apa2 yang nyangkut, cuma tenggorokannya rada merah, mungkin flu plus radang tenggorokan. Huhuhu.. kasihan anakku. Ini pertama kalinya dia sakit. Sedih banget ngeliat dia sesek gitu. Napasnya lewat mulut. Yang paling kasihan tuh, dia pengen mimi tapi terus gelagepan ambil napas. :'((. Bener2 deh... gak tegaa banget. Untungnya pas naik pesawat dia gak papa.
Sampe hari ini Tara masih pilek, kalo pagi - siang sih dah kering, tapi sore menjelang malem katanya masih pilek banget. Duhh... cepet sembuh ya Nak....

Have you ever been so in love that when you look at him/her you can feel love fills you up till it overflows?
I have.
Her name is Tara Divya Adara Rizal.

*missing my baby*

To my dear baby, you are my everything :) *biig smoooooccchhh from mummy*

"And in this crazy life
And through these crazy times
It’s you, it’s you
Ya make me sing
Your every line
Your every word
You’re everything

You’re a carousel
You’re a wishing well
And you light me up when you ring my bell
You’re a mystery
You’re from outer space
You’re every minute of my every day"

Taken from "Everything" - Michael Buble